December 18, 2009

The Funny Bone

If you know me personally, then you know I am pretty funny. It's one of my BETTER qualities. With that being said...

Happy Friday Bloggers. I appreciate the love.

Grab a kleenex and enjoy my list of home remedies, they really do work.

1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU SLICE.

2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.

 
3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.

 
4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.

 
5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.

 
6. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.


7. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.





3 comments:

Johnnie.Carter said...

lmfaoooooooo

u need help

eaglebird said...

You got me ltms something stupid over here #'s 3&4 be crazy if somebody ever tried doing that they would need help for real ltms,I'm loving how your mind work right now..your humor somewhere else with it I tell ya lls.

DollFace said...

I read these out loud to my boy and we're sitting here laughing our asses off...kudos, u arectually ARE mad funny.lol